Remember Yourself

Since Abi completed her 30-day challenge of breaking misconceptions, I want to start this post by saying: Congratulations! You have done well!

Misconceptions... we often cling to them. We want the world to be as we think it is. Often, breaking a misconception is like breaking a piece of yourself. You hold something to be true, and then it dissolves before your eyes. Like an effervescent tablet in water. Those are awesome.

This personal challenge is one we should all be so brave as to tackle. But few will complete such a task.
And now, Abi is searching for something new to challenge herself with... well I have a suggestion. But I'm not going to suggest it just to Abi. I'm going to suggest it to all of us.

So here is my challenge for Abi and myself, and everyone who reads here:

Remember yourself.


For 30 days (Let's be reasonable and start on September 1st and end on September 30th, actually) take a bit of time every single day... and write about yourself.
Write about the past.
Write about your childhood.
REMEMBER YOURSELF.
Remember who you were then. What you did then. Silly, seemingly inane details, embarrassing stories you would not share with anyone, secrets you held dear as a child, games you played alone.

Remember people you knew, relatives you've forgotten. Follow those pathways and recall their names. Recall their faces. Describe how you interacted with them. Remember people you have lost to time.

Recall the things you don't want to recall. Remember the things that scared you. The things that alienated you. Admit the things you did that you would never admit to yourself or anyone else.

REMEMBER YOURSELF.

Recall happy times. Recall moments that made you smile. List every vacation you went on and what you did there. Anything at all that you can recall.

Write as much or as little as comes to you daily. But try, every single day, to remember SOMETHING new.
And record it.

REMEMBER YOURSELF

Remember lies you told. Remember why you told them. And now, tell the truth you never told.

Remember secrets you kept. Remember why you kept them. And now, share them.

Remember stories you experienced. Remember why you loved or hated them. And now, revisit them.

REMEMBER YOURSELF.

That is my challenge.

A great philosopher and student of the human experience,George Ivanovich Gurdjieff , once had 30 or so applicants who wished to be his disciples. He took them all to a building and gathered them around and told them that for the next 30 days they would live there and not leave. And during that 30 days, they would do only one thing, every single day, all day. They would remember themselves. They would talk, recall, think, recount and record. They would do nothing else.

Only 3 remained for the entire 30 days. They went on to become Jung's best students. The rest fled. Some said they fled because they feared that they were going to go insane.


I know that's not very encouraging. The reason is ... we lie to ourselves constantly. We forget what we want to forget. We craft and shape ourselves. And in doing that, we let go of some of the material that makes us up. Trying to find all the pieces you've stored away is a terrifying task.

Of course, I'm not asking you to spend 30 days doing only that. I'm asking you recall a bit, however, every day in that time.

Most people will never take this challenge.


And many people... wouldn't be able to handle it.

I'm not even sure I can. Let's find out.

Arsh

Shamanism and Substances

So ... last night I drank myself into oblivion.
It was well needed. I don't know what precisely set my nerves off like that. But I started feeling sometime yesterday like my nerves were going to just break at some point. I'm honestly not sure what caused this feeling... but I nearly lost it. I did well in that rather than getting hysterical, I just shook a lot then went loopy and smiled a lot.

Then when I got home... I drank more vodka than I think I have ever drank in one sitting before. It was not my proudest moment, especially a couple weeks after saying I have decided I don't want to drink anymore... But it was also one of the most gainful experiences in drinking I can claim to date.

I started thinking, after an hour or more of being nicely drunk and having relaxed completely, about the fact that shamans in tribal cultures typically use substances to achieve Altered States of Consciousness (hereafter refered to as "ASC"). I started thinking about that because I was seeing inward... really feeling myself. I felt ... oddly alert, and found myself decently coherent as long as I was only speaking and not trying to do anything physical. So while I just sat here and talked to my mate... I was able to say more than one would think. And that makes me think of the well-famed "Moment of Clarity".  Is this really just a moment during which the intoxicated actually stops and takes note of himself? I guess there's a little shaman in all of us.

I mainly had enough of a good look inward to see what's been wrong with me. To realize why I got so stressed in the first place... and to deal with it. Then I went to the couch and watched "Fired Up!" all the way through then promptly went to bed. Also drank a bunch of water because... yeah. No hangovers. Woot!

Anyway. Further on this.

ASC are important in shamanism. They're important in Chaos magery too. Because in order to grow the self, one has to be able to see into the self. Self-observation and analysis are an important tool that the Chaot uses to improve his divine self and his magickal will and ability.

So here's what I'm considering.
A good friend and fellow Discordian has offered me the knowledge of a plant that can produce a psychedelic trip (Do look up the meaning of psychedelic if you find you can't come up with one that doesn't simply conjure up hippies and tie-dye shirts. The word's meaning is rather more fetching.) which namely is said to cause the user to "see inside himself" and especially to "face himself". These are not literal explanations. But it is to say that the experiences described could be very useful for self-observation and self-analysis. Considering these facts...

1. I've never ever done any kind of drug before (unless you count alcohol. One really should.).
2. It's a completely legal and natural drug and has no damaging side-effects (that are known of).
3. I already have some of the drug and it's very cheap.
4. I do want to try to achieve an ASC through drugs at least once for the purpose of breaking barriers. (I have never done it, therefore I should do it.)
5. I may really need this opportunity for self-observation and self-analysis after the near-nervous breakdown I had. In fact... there may be no better time for this "trip".

... I think I'm going to try it. The worst that can apparently happen is I get nauseous and throw up. (Well physically. Having a bad trip means a lot of creepy stuff could be seen/heard.) But I won't take a high first dose. I will work up to it. Even if that means the first experience isn't as impressive... But as such, I'm going to have to work on this. I think it will be important for helping myself to find the root causes of this severe issue with stress capacity I've been having however.

I'll let you guys know how it goes.

I Believe...Nothing.

Believing anything at all is dangerous.


Why? Because you seek enlightenment, not anchors.

be·lieve

verb /biˈlēv/  believed, past participle; believed, past tense; believes, 3rd person singular present; believing, present participle Accept (something) as true; feel sure of the truth of - the superintendent believed Lancaster's story - Christians believe that Jesus rose from the dead Accept the statement of (someone) as true - he didn't believe her or didn't want to know Have faith, esp. religious faith - there are those on the fringes of the Church who do not reallybelieve Feel sure that (someone) is capable of a particular action - I wouldn't have believed it of Lois—what an extraordinary woman! Hold (something) as an opinion; think or suppose - I believe we've already met - things were not as bad as the experts believed - humu-humu are, I believe, shrimp fritters - four men were believed to be trapped

1. To Accept something as true is to reduce the need for further questioning. 

    To feel sure of the truth is idiocy. (Prove ANYTHING beyond doubt.)

2. To accept the statement of anyone as true is to trust any being is capable of knowing the truth. 

    Do you really trust anyone's expertise with your very existence?

3. Faith is a tool by which people are ruled through their ignorance. The same goes for religion.

4. Feeling sure that someone is capable of a particular action is fine so long as the action doesn't affect you.

    And as long as you're not betting on them. 

5. Holding anything as an opinion is a fallacy. This action anchors you to what you already (think you) know. 

    

Then how can I even retain intelligible language capabilities without this crucial word? I say "I believe" when I'm not sure if something's true, and when I really think it is... What are you trying to do to my head, Arsh?

Improve it. Sorry. That wasn't supposed to hurt so much. 

The answer is... replace "I believe" with questions.

Instead of ever settling down on "I believe" ... query further.

A true sage would never really believe anything. Instead, he would ask of everything... 

So I have a long way to go. But knowing is half the battle... and questioning is the rest of it. 

Why are questions so great?

Because they are the pursuit of mystery. Finding answers is no goal, because you will never find them all. You will never find all the ones you want. Instead... seek the journey. Seek the act of seeking. And you will never run out of road. 

A few examples:

I believe in god. < What is god?

I believe all people are good. < What "good things" did Hitler do?

I believe the Earth is flat. < Why do the ships' sails begin to sink over time as they approach the horizon? 

And so on, forever.

Believing you already know denies seeking further. 

Believe nothing. Seek the Mysteries!

Reyn til Runa

Church Signs CAN Be Useful!

This will be a short one today since Anna did one too and I'm frankly exhausted.

Bringing this up from the comments because I think it's worth attention.

Any synchronicity, big or small, is awesome. 
Today, in the car, Anna and I were discussing anger and Gurdjieff's methods of challenging it and handling it. Just as I was in the middle of saying something about how there was a difference between how I feel when I'm mad about something unimportant and when I'm mad about something that I really feel justified about... 

Church sign we're passing says: "We always have reasons for our anger. They are seldom good." 

SYNCHRONICITY! THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES!

Anna is going to be adding her thoughts to this blog sometimes. I felt this was a good thing. We often do our magick together. We at least discuss it and theorize and learn together even if we work separate sigils for things and use totally different methods. We've done actual ritual work together a few times. It's always gone well so far.

Sometimes what I can bring and what Anna can bring to the table are so different. But it works really well. We complete each other in this, as in all things. *le sigh* I love my mate.

Had a great home-cooked dinner. My meatloaf decided that grease needed to pour off the sides of the pan however and start a grease fire in the oven. I noticed immediately, Fetch grabbing my attention just before it happened, threw the door open, shoved my hand toward the fire and willed the fire to smother out. It did. Immediately. So instantaneously that Anna glanced just as I opened the oven door and never even saw the fire. 

There was no ritual to this. There was no sigil. Nothing to protect my mind ... I just did magick. 

And I nearly fainted. I had to sit down and cover my eyes for a while, felt woozy and bleary. 

Why? 

This is exactly why we use sigils in the first place. Or runes. Or tarot. Or astrology.

Because the mass consensus-reality believes that there is no magick, our mind fights the idea of magick.

Just doing magick ... can damage our psyche. Because it shocks our belief... it shocks our mind away from a safe place where things make sense. 

So we use methods, signs and archaic languages to shield our minds from the magick. These things act as a buffer, putting a bit of space and time between us "casting a spell" and "magick happening". Our minds come to deal with this better over time...  and eventually we can overcome the need for the buffers. But I guess I'm not there quite yet.

At least... I'm not there without backlash. But instant magick? Instant Results? I did that today.

And saved a perfectly good meatloaf. I'm happy. 

Arsh

The fetchery- some fetching thoughts (and other puns as well)

I'm not completely sure why, but I felt compelled to drop in and make a few posts, possibly. Arsh agreed, so here we are, my contribution #1 and first ever post on one of these.

As I joined Google+, one of my first conversations (unsurprisingly) with an old friend was about Fetch. He asked what it was, and I linked him a couple of mostly appropriate but random websites to further explain my comments. One of them talked about how Fetch lives only in the current moment, which pushed me forwards on some of my own theories I had been working out.

Background:

Fetch is, in short, your spirit guide, your guardian angel, your spirit animal, and more. It is often opposite in gender, and guides you with flashes of inspiration even should you be totally ignorant of it. It can appear to different people as many different things (see above examples). It also processes and delivers information.

Basic Facts:

Fetch provides you with information including and beyond your current senses.

Fetch lives only in the current moment.

Fetch operates off a similar concept to quantum physics.

Theory:

It follows that Fetch is the reason for both deja vu and that phenomenon where, having forgotten something, you return to where you last thought of it and perform similar actions to bring it back to mind.

Explanation:

You see, Fetch is not bound by, and in fact does not observe, our accepted assumptions of linear space and time. If you make one point in space (and/or time) similar to another, you may have 'echoes' of another time/place that is similar. If you 'lose' some information, make your circumstances similar, and you make both of those 'places' similar as well. Thus your Fetch may well be able to 'see' that information 'nearby' and 'retrieve' it from that 'location,' thereby bringing it back to the consious mind in the current moment.

More to come,

Annathesa

Synchronicity

Today I am going to explain the concept of Synchronicity.

In short, this is the basis of the tagline at the top of this blog:

There are No coincidences.

Chaos theory dictates that there are NO coincidences. This ties in heavily to some other important concepts such as Manifest Reality (Law of 5's) and Willful Self-Realization.

As I have read in several important texts: I am at the center of my perspective.

I can only see from my viewpoint. But... as a magician, my great work is to become The Observer. 

To see and consciously perceive all around me and inside me. To be aware. To be purposeful.

The masses today mostly live in a daze, unaware and empty, living from distraction to distraction without any intrinsic goals or purpose save more distraction. The magician steps away from this path and seeks to live consciously, always. More on this later.

In becoming aware, conscious, purposeful or whichever word you wish to call it, the magician begins to notice a high number of synchronicities, often written off early on as coincidences, but in time, it becomes apparent that these synchronicities are not merely a "happenstance", but are instead... a manifestation of the will of the magician. The results of gravity. 

What am I talking about? 

I get a new car. It's a white Oldsmobile Alero. I've never seen one before. Now, suddenly, I see them everywhere. I see 3 or more every time I go out. Why? It's not a coincidence. (There are none.) It's an increase in awareness. There were always 3 or more every time I went out. But when I became Acutely Aware of them, (familiar with their appearance, style, shape...) began recognizing them when I saw them. Awareness creates perceived "coincidences".

That is the basis of the concept. But it goes much, much deeper.

Magick creates synchronicities. 

The more magick a person steeps themselves in, the more he begins to notice synchronicities everywhere.

Why is this?

Because the magician creates a gravity upon the universe that pulls probabilities in his direction and starts warping his reality to his own liking.
When I cast a spell to gain in personal wealth, I do more than gain a fresh twenty and some good wealth-mojo. I twist the odds in my favor. Even without further spellwork, I may begin to notice financial gains. Why? Because : pond ripples. I pulled gravity my way and until it resettles itself, it stays that way. Or randomly it may dive my way some more just.. because. (Because Eris is awesome?)

When the magician has traveled along this path far enough that he begins twisting probability (working chaos magick) very constantly, probability starts twisting in his favor almost pre-emptively. As if chaos itself is more interested in the magician. Well that makes sense. 

So is it very surprising that I see more of things I like? That once *I* become aware of something, it creates more of itself? Or that what I desire seems to randomly *happen*? Is that coincidence? No. It is synchronicity. It is chaos aligning favorably towards me. It is the universe remembering itself.

I am at the center of my perspective.

Arsh

Gonna try to make this a thing.

Since you guys say you're interested.

So of late I've done quite a lot of sigil work. I've been casting sigils repeatedly for increase in wealth and finding money when I needed it. I cast a sigil to help a friend find her cat. I've also helped deter a malevolent creature from harming a friend. (All names in this blog will be changed to protect identities. As a shaman, much of what is shared with me is confidential.)



Sigil magick is really fun. I enjoy the work even tho it can be quite strenuous. It is an interesting and challenging exercise in willpower, mental focus, and randomness. My methods are a combination of the methods I've read from noted Chaots. My typical sigil work goes like this:

1. Identify my purpose. (Harder than it sounds. Knowing what one truly desires is sometimes the hardest part of the magic. This is not as simple as wording a wish do that an evil DM can't turn it on you. It's more actually asserting to yourself what you really want. We can often work against our own wills because humans often fear getting what they truly want. "Will it be what I hoped?" "What if I don't get it?" "What if it's not what I really want?" ... all of this undermines our will and falsifies our purpose.)
2. Write my statement of intent (ex. I will find twenty dollars in town today.) 
3. Create incantation from statement of intent. (Remove every repeating letter, scramble the words unrecognizably and make it pronounceable) (ex. Iwlfndteyoars ---> ardsyintowelf  --> ardis ento wylf)
4. Now sigilization. I use a modified alphabet box most of the time. (Tho there's so many ways to sigilize... this is just my current favorite.) Basically we take that incantation and map out the sigil. (I'd draw a line from letter to letter. I can either make it one continuous line or I can break it into parts, separating the words that make up the incantation version and making thus, a series of small sigils.)
5. Now I have a sigil or a series of sigils. I inscribe these carefully onto a talisman paper. (I have a few packs of blank bookmarks from the craft store that I use. They look awesome. Looking awesome helps you feel awesome, and feeling awesome is great for magick.)
6. Now the actual ritual work begins. I go to my quiet, solitary space, cast a circle (There are so many methods. I use the one described in Nine Doors to Midgard most of the time.) And begin.
7. In order to charge the sigil, I must either focus all of my thoughts to a void point (absolute vacuity) or I must excite and exhilarate myself to an extreme of emotion, near-exhaustion or the edge of insanity. There's lots of methods. Hyperventilation, dancing, drumming, yelling/singing/chanting, orgasm... to name only a few. I do one of these until the energy is built to a crescendo, and then...
8. Fire the sigil. This means setting the paper on fire and tossing it into a glodker (a fire pot. Safe burning zone.) Or in other methodology, firing it off then storing it, hiding it and making sure no one, even you will see it. (Folding it up and keeping it on your person, or straight hiding it completely.)
9. Open the circle.
10. FORGET EVERYTHING. Magick works when you completely forget about it. My mentor, Master Waldo Thompson wrote in the front of my copy of Paradox Games: "Magic is learning to forget opperantly." And I have seen this personally to be true. So this part of my method is usually to go distract myself hardcore. Video games, roleplaying, reading... whatever keeps my mind completely off of the magick. If my mate and I can head out and do some stuff in town or get into a good game, that's best. Anything that makes me forget I was casting at all... That makes the magick happen.

Example Sigil --->

Finally, I record my results and take credit for what change I effected in the universe. This helps build personal will and belief. This helps break down barriers and keep my mind from rebelling against its own power. 

So that said, I will add that in the past month I have had these positive results to sigils I've cast:

• Found $20 on the ground at Walmart
• Got a $13 meal for free then saved $7 off my bill elsewhere for random reasons (on the casting of another $20 sigil)
• A friend's cat was found safely by the deadline I set in my sigil and was more easily retrieved than expected.
• Drove off a harmful spirit from a friend and gave him the means to protect himself from it further. (No further reports of harassment by said spirit have come in over two weeks now.)
• And I'm sure, a few others I don't even remember casting as they haven't come to fruition yet.